My Profile

Name: Kars
B-day: October 20, 1984
Zodiac: Libra
Age: 20
School: De La Salle University

female. libra. roman catholic. music lover. broadway junkie. eccentric artist wannabe. avid movie-goer. internet freak. periodic drinker. non-smoker. chronic drunkard. class cutter. weekend bum. shoe collector. alias fanatic. trying-hard singer. frustrated ballerina. pseudo piano player. infrequent commuter. nonstop texter. former friendster devotee. current blog enthusiast.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Jesus fills the void in each one of us.

i had an epiphany of some sort today.

while i was at mass, i realized that i haven't given much importance to the Lord. for the past how many years, i've been preoccupied with my acads, with extra-curricular activities, with friends, with my boyfriend (now my ex), that i never took the effort to strengthen my faith, even though i knew for a fact that it was deteriorating, weakening by the day. i always told myself and other people that my growing faith is a gradual process. i needed time to find myself and the Lord. but yun nga, did i actually do anything about it? none at all. it was always against my will to pray, to go to mass, and to confess (because i didn't believe in it). i didn't feel that i was loved by God, heck i even had doubts He even existed.

but...after hearing the priest's homily, it just struck me. i almost cried in the middle of the mass, good thing i controlled myself.

how can i have neglected Him for how many years? i shouldn't only turn to him if i have problems, or if i want something in my life. i should be grateful. i am indebted to Him, for all the continuous blessings i have received despite the crumbling faith i have given to Him in return.

maybe another factor to this was my conversation with melai earlier. she showed me how God's love can be so...encompassing, that with His love, everything around you would be okay. every battle can be conquered.

it was the first time in my whole life that i felt good going to mass. every song i sung was heartfelt. every word that came out of my mouth unfeigned. :D

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in the mood to blog!

i watched phantom already, finally!! mig and i watched last thursday, after a long series of unfortunate kabusyhan. hmm..what can i say? of course i'd still be partial to the play, but the movie was great too. the music was enchanting, the characters were engaging. i loved masquerade, all i ask of you, and music of the night. it was as if i was brought back to the time when i was watching it in london. sarap. :)

*sidenote: ang kulit ni mig! pero aliw! because it was his second time to watch, he was always nudging me when songs such as all i ask of you and think of me were about to start. AND, he was telling me how distracting...the...toot toot toot toot...i think it's just between him and me. haha! *wink* ;)

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pics affax!

ok, so now i'm fond of uploading pics in my blog. pardon me. for lack of better pics to upload, here are some parts of our newly-renovated house!

my beeyotiful room! magulo lang..


the den/office. my mom and sisters are making earrings. :)


the hallway. soooo white!


the dining and living room. notice my beeyotiful piano at the back!


our fascination with shoes...(hindi pa lahat yan!)


...and bags...


that's all!!

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par-tay!

we went to a party organized by UP JMA (congrats biyatch!), called Absolute Zero, at Racks El Pueblo. i didn't imagine racks could be a party place. i always thought it was just some place that served chicken. hehe! anyway, it was a blast! there was a fashion show sponsored by nafnaf (i think), with o-kay girls and hotttt guys. and the rest of the night was spent drinking and dancing the night away! i only had a bottle of beer though. i didn't feel like drinking last night. there were 2 artistas who dropped by, and they were hot. while we were groovin', rissa was pushing me towards their direction, actually she practically dragged me, but i refused to go near them. haha! i guess i'm not aggressive enough. lam mo naman, hindi sanay. dibale, next time. :) anyway, that's the price of being single right? haha! malandi ka! just messing. crazy vince hipol was asking me where jb was, i'm like, i dunno. i'm not his keeper. hehe! that sounds familiar. soo high school.

ANYWAY, here are just some of the pics..

look how dark i am! (yes mig, nognog nako!) that's what you get when you go to bantayan, bohol, and boracay in a span of two weeks. :) oh, sjeanz wasn't able to make it. :(

ara and i having a bottle or two. hehe!


SG minus sjeanz plus vince and juancho. :)

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hopeful

i was browsing through my fone a while ago, and stumbled upon THE "special message".

sent April 2001.

even though i've changed phones a couple of times, i make it a point to save that message in my new one. even now. it is one message that i will keep and cherish.

i am hopeful that he sticks to his word. even though it may take a while. if not, then i guess it's our loss. his and mine. because i know for a fact that i will not make the first move. why not? he knows.

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Friday, February 25, 2005

cheers to efforts and other things unappreciated! :)

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

pasaway

melai, cherry, and me

just some of the reasons why we are pasaways:
1. we are always oblivious to the things happening around us ("huh? ano yon?")
..
..
..
..

i guess that's just it. but that says a lot! no one should ask us about any detail about move's projects because...again, we won't know anything. we don't write on our journals regularly, and we don't even pass them at times (especially melai and i!). basta, pasaway talaga! we can't even get over it!

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ladeeda!

it's 3:00 a.m. and i'm still wide awake! it must be all that caffeine i had for the day.

before proceeding to my kwentos, just a moment of reflection.
do i really look like josh groban?



there have been a lot of people telling me that i look like him (or he looks like me? dream on!). i remember it starting with jeremy when we were in high school. haha! totoo nga siguro. i'll take that as a compliment, i guess. wish ko lang, ganun din ako kagaling kumanta!

anyway, how was my day? it was pretty exciting than usual. i finally went to the head office of starbucks and attended the coffee seminar. though not officially, i think i'm already accepted. i'm just not sure which branch i'm working in. hopefully it'll be the one in taft, for convenience sake. we were entertained by LOVE (he's a guy! and that's his real name). he's pretty cool and funny. we tasted two types of coffee, a colombian one, and the one from sumatra. the indonesian coffee smelled and tasted like moistened earth. ughhh, not really one of my favorites, but i guess i have to get used to it.

i met dianne, she's a graduating student from la salle, taking up bio. she's also working part time before she gets into med school. she was kind and sweet :)

just some trivia about starbucks:
- the first starbucks branch was established in 1971, in Seattle
- why STARBUCKS? it was named after STARBUCK, a character in the novel moby dick who served coffee all the time.
- all of starbucks's pastries complement certain types of coffee. ex. the ensaymada should be eaten with the sumatran coffee
- how to taste coffee:
1. smell
2. slurp ( i know it's bad manners, but it's an exception when tasting coffee)
3. locate the part of the tongue where the taste lingers
4. describe the taste

wala lang! exciting because it's something different from the routinary things i do everyday.

i've been having very good conversations with brian lately. conversations about life and everything in between it. i like talking to brian. i feel comfortable. i am not reluctant. i always look forward. :D

anyway, i can't believe i haven't watched the phantom of the opera yet! of all people, me! me, a musical fanatic! i haven't had the time to. actually i just slack off at home. hihi! chris and i was talking earlier today, and we agreed that the musical loses its magic because it's mainstream na. everybody's liking it, posting lyrics on the net and stuff. hello, you guys are a decade late! haha! i remember when i was in grade 4, i was already singing songs such as "all i ask of you" and "masquerade". but it's comforting that people liked the movie. well, good for hollywood. what more when RENT is released! i think it would be even more successful than phantom. woohoo! i'm finally watching phantom tomorrow (i mean later!). sooo...good for me!

agh! i can foresee the impending stress ahead of me.
comlaw, rels, markcu, jprizal, accounting.
crap!

i'm back to student mode. i have law midterms, and there are like 200 pages to study. for 40 damn points!

absurdity!!

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

from one crisis to another

tita cheng passed away today. :(

tita cheng is the youngest sister of my dad.

this is all a big shock to us, because everything was so sudden. she's a perfectly healthy woman, no medical background whatsoever. we got a message one day from my uncle in the states that she was in critical condition. she was swollen, and she had blotches on the skin. she was in a coma. probably clinically dead. doctors initially diagnosed it as meningitis. the next day, she suffered a heart attack. doctors tried to revive her, fortunately they gave her another opportunity to live. but she had momentary seizures. her immediate family was faced with the crucial decision of signing the DNR (do not recussitate), meaning if ever she'd suffer another heart attack, doctors wouldn't revive her anymore.

i got a text from ate kattie a little past noon that she passed away already. tears started to gather, but i composed myself. but i just needed to get out of the seminar i was in. i went to the nook, and finally i burst into tears. (thanks RA for the comfort) i guess i just never expected things to turn out this way. it's sad that we never had the chance to thank her for her goodness.

my dad must be devastated inside. but he's "mr. cool calm and collected" eh, kaya walang bakas sa mukha.

agh. it hasn't sunk in yet. this is the first time in my mature sense of self, that a very close person to us has died.

the last was my mamita. 1995. i was living in the states during that time, and she'd come to celebrate christmas with us. she helped us with the household chores (washed the dishes, etc.) but we always forced her not to because her arthritis could worsen. she died 3 months after. worse thing is, we were still in the states, and we weren't able to go back to the philippines for her funeral. but i'm glad that we spent the last few months with her.

why do bad things happen to good people? this is yet another eye-opener for me. life is too fragile. too short. we better appreciate and love every second that we have. take every chance to tell people what we feel towards them, before everything is too late.

to tita cheng, thanks.
you will always be remembered.

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

truth is

words of wisdom from ms. eya parungao. :) luv ya sis!!

"The loss of someone you love and the loss of a best friend at the same time is rather difficult. And as if physical distance isn't enough, the fact that he's not even trying to make himself present in your life, even as a friend, is just agony escalated."

so true.

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Friday, February 11, 2005

the week that was

monday:
i cut my jprizal class because i wasn't exactly feeling well. it's a girl thang, so don't ask. i slept from 2:30 - 6, studied til around 8:30. slept again at 9, woke up at 11, hoping to read my law book. well in fairness, i read like 5 pages of it. slept again at 12, and woke up at 9. that's a grand total of....14 hours and 30 minutes of sleep!!!! yes, i am a pig. was, is, and always will be. they don't call me babz for nothing!

tuesday:
the longest one hour of my life in comlaw class. moksy was already my seatmate, and i'm sure that from this time on, we're gonna have a blast. after class, moksy and i went to rizal to watch the semi-finals of the volleyball shakey's whatever. lady archers vs. lady knights (letran), and lo and behold, we won! i miss playing volleyball, especially with my intrams teammates! so macky and to all volleyballers, magplano na tayo please! just one saturday in csa. fun fun! it will bring back old memories, and hopefully build stronger relationships! so...tara na!

wednesday:
the most stressful day of the week! i had 2 tests, one in QUATECH and another in RELSFOR. both went pretty fine. to top it all off, i had to prepare for a quiz in accounting, 2 oral recitations (one in markcu and another in comlaw) and a book report for thursday! and of course i had to watch american idol! har har. i slept at home because i had to use the computer the whole night. sooo...woohoo!

thursday:
so all the aforementioned stuff for thursday all went well. cherry, JR and i went to sm manila originally to have plaques made for our speakers on sunday, but it would take them a week to finish 5 plaques, and a rush charge of P1000. a big no-no!! JR was really persistent as he haggled with the salesladies, i think they were actually getting pretty much annoyed with him. haha! but he did a great job. he was able to lower the rush charge from 1000 to 300. well, too bad for them, because it was still a no-no. ergo, we decided to just have certificates printed and we'd just place them in frames. when we arrived in school at around 7, we were already late for our MOVE meeting. but all's well, we had a valid excuse.

friday:
it's 2:00 in the morning, and melai and i weren't asleep yet. after the MOVE meeting, i kinda convinced her to sleepover at our place. well, she easily gave in, so we got her stuff from her condo, grabbed some coffee from starbucks (with ina!), and went up to my place and just lounged around doing whatever things (answered a grammatically incorrect survey, watched american idol, and chitchatted). we wanted to watch high fidelity (i borrowed the dvd from jeremy). for some reason, the dvd wouldn't play in my cousin's laptop. so while downloading codecs and dvd players, we chatted with mico boobs. haha! tinulugan kami, edi natulog narin kami.

now i'm home sweet home! i have a 9:30 make-up class in comlaw, which totally sucks. but i'm looking forward to a badminton game (lesson?) tomorrow!

highlight of the day:
- just found out that i got a 105/100 in my accounting exam. woohoo!
- watched high fidelity, and alex and emma. *sigh*

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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

paranoia

my dad was rushed to the hospital last night. he initially felt dizzy at one point in the night, and so he and my mom went to the nearby clinic to have him checked up. the doctor said that he had very frequent cardiac skipbeats. it's always scary when it has something to do with one's heart, cuz it can end your life in just one snap. anyway, my sister, who's a doctor, suggested that he be brought to the hospital because we don't really know if he's having a stroke or a heart attack already. and so they did. i went to visit my dad after class because no one was there to watch over him. when i got to the ICU (he's supposed to be in the telemetry but they don't have any space), and when i saw him lying on the bed with oxygen tubes and dextrose, and whatever equipment attached to his body, i almost shed a tear. it was just so...sad, i guess. it's not something that i'm used to. although he has mild diabetes, he's not really the type to get sick, more so be confined in a hospital. so now i'm so paranoid that something bad might happen to him (knock on wood), but i know that God is with us, and He'll help him get through this. he's scheduled to have a heart ultrasound tonight, so that they may find out the source of the cardiac skipbeats. hopefully, it won't be too serious.

oh, i felt so guilty because last night, he asked me if i know how to take the BP (blood pressure), and then i go "hmmm oo pero hindi accurate! sabi ko sayo bumili ka na ng electronic BP eh!" the next thing i knew, they were out of the house and on their way to the hospital. :(

anyway, thanks to everyone's comfort and prayers. :)

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