My Profile

Name: Kars
B-day: October 20, 1984
Zodiac: Libra
Age: 20
School: De La Salle University

female. libra. roman catholic. music lover. broadway junkie. eccentric artist wannabe. avid movie-goer. internet freak. periodic drinker. non-smoker. chronic drunkard. class cutter. weekend bum. shoe collector. alias fanatic. trying-hard singer. frustrated ballerina. pseudo piano player. infrequent commuter. nonstop texter. former friendster devotee. current blog enthusiast.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

bombshell

**WARNING** the contents of this blog entry are semi details of my thoughts and feelings. it's in your discretion if you'd still want to read it. as for me, damn if you do, damn if you don't.

****

i was blinded by a superficial love built over, above, and around a big fat lie created by two selfish and hormonal monsters.

if there are people i cannot tolerate, they are cheaters. worse, cheaters who don't have the balls to admit their acts of disloyalty.

yes, i had a lying and cheating ex-boyfriend. (i've only had ONE ex-boyfriend, so go figure!)

the worse thing is, i only found out after we broke up. 3 months after we broke up. i only found out about it YEARS after the actual incident happened.

apparently, this ex of mine had been in a lip-locking session with some girl who happens to be MY FRIEND. (i refuse to give out this poor girl's name, but if you'd ask, i'd gladly tell you who.) sounds crazy huh? so much for the goody-two shoes we all perceive him to be. tsk tsk. bad things are done by people you don't expect to have the capacity to do so. kapal ng mukha. his reasons serve no justification whatsoever.

it all makes sense to me now. i don't regret breaking up with him anymore. actually, i regret being with him. sana hindi mo na lang ako binalikan. sana you just stayed with her. i didn't need someone like you. i would've had a better life with someone else.

am i angry? of course. who wouldn't be?
am i devastated? not really.
am i relieved? surely. breaking up with him was the right decision after all, and for once, i feel good about it.

if i had a tinge of hope before that after a few years, fate would bring us back together, well now, i don't. i have completely shut my doors. why am i making such a big deal about this right? after all, we had broken up, and there's nothing i can do about it. but i'm sure you guys would feel the same way when you're betrayed by someone who you lovED. AND, betrayed by your friend. and the fact that they didn't have the balls to tell me, it just made me look stupid all these years. we've been living under a lie. gawd, i wasted 3 years of my life.

i don't know if this is just the angst talking. and i don't know when i'm ever going to escape this madness. but this is what i'm feeling and thinking as of the moment.

i'm sure many people would ask if this is the right thing to do. it seems that an entry like this is meant for private journals. first of all, this is my only journal. second, at this stage, i'm being kind. i am capable of doing much more, but because of my sorta-compassionate heart, i can keep other things to myself. besides, i think people should know about stuff like these in order for them to derive some lesson that they can carry in their lives. third, i have to let this out. i can't keep this bottled inside of me. if it means posting it in a (public) journal, then let it be.

cliche: the truth will prevail. kaya be honest na to the people you love. labas niyo na lahat ng baho niyo. if they don't accept you for that, sorry ka na lang. you have to be responsible for your own actions..

you were a good riddance. no regrets AT ALL. you're a canniving and deceiving sleazeball, and i deserve someone way better than you.

i've longed for closure and finally i found it. THIS is my closure. thank you.

8 comments

Monday, May 16, 2005

show me some LoVe

i've been such an addict of Veronica Mars, and now i don't know what to do for 3 months (hiatus) while waiting for the second season! i just looooove logan echolls, because he's transformed from a complete jerk to an endearing and charming...asshole. i love it when he says/does sweet things to veronica, because even though it's a universal fact that he's an ass, you know that he's sincere.

this is my favorite:

Dick: What are you doing? Please tell me this is like a new reality show called "My Skank".
Logan: Goodbye Dick.
Dick: What?
Logan: If you have a problem with Veronica, then leave. Actually if you have a problem with Veronica you're kinda like dead to me, so, uh, just evaporate or something.
Logan (to everyone): That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend then head to the rectangular thing with the knob.

ain't that just sooo sweet? ;)

0 comments

acne acne acne. tsk tsk tsk.

i'm having a pimple breakout.

don't you just hate acne? it starts invisibly small, then it becomes this big red mountain-like being. then when you least expect it, it pops and dispenses all the pus inside of it. sometimes it leaves a scar, but at times it seems like it never existed.

just like me. in just a matter of a few days, i'm about to blow up and release all the pressure inside my head. i'm just waiting for the perfect time. it's all about timing. so to that person involved, you better watch out. this serves as a warning.

weehee. i hope i can be pimple-free soon.

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

i'm back!

after a 4-day shopping vacation, i'm finally home, unfortunately. my family went to hong kong to...basically shop. (ir de compras!) and over-all, it was okay. i mean i always have a blast when i'm in another country because it's good to change your environment once in a while. it is quite expensive there, surprisingly because a lot of people actually go there to shop for cheaper goods. if you plan to buy guccis, ferragamos, and the like, then that's the place to be because it's really less expensive.

here's an inventory of what i bought:
34 tops
4 pants
4 skirts
2 shoes (only!! can you imagine?!)
a pair of giordano socks (sorry, i had to finish my money haha)

some bloopers that i saw (i know we have a lot more here in the philippines!)
1. CAN NOT FITTING (in a clothing shop)
2. SPONG CAKE (in a supermarket)
3. FREE DUTY (instead of duty free. it's not a blooper, they say it like that talaga, just found it funny!)

saya! i was also supposed to meet up with JB, but due to our busy schedules, we weren't able to. we were planning to take lots of pictures pa naman, since it was one of those rare moments that we were in the same country at the same time, but wala eh. too bad. in his words, i'm sure we'll see each other in another country in the future. ;)

anyway, pics are up! >>CLICK HERE<<

1 comments

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

my new love...

i love you...


BO BICE!!!!

you ROCK my world!!
you're my american idol. :D

2 comments

the power of three shall set us free!!

....and the pasaways reunite!

after much postponement, our sleepover finally pushed through! it was basically the three of us: me, melai and cherry...the MOVE PASAWAYS!

first on our agenda was to watch willy wonka and the chocolate factory. yes! the old one! we finally got a copy of an orig DVD. for those who don't know, (i'm sure everybody does) this is the movie made in 1971, starring gene wilder. there's a remake coming up, entitled "charlie and the chocolate factory" with no other than the versatile and underrated actor johnny depp. it is of course, after "little spies", my all-time childhood movie. it was fun watching and singing along with the songs! we were craving for chocolate throughout the movie. and somehow it was as if we were warped into our childhood days. we dreamt of having a chocolate factory of our own. and we felt once again how to hope for the simplest of things, which brings us the biggest smiles. saya! especially the umpa-lumpas! ohhhhh, don't forget the umpa-lumpas!!

next, we played our ever favorite card game, called "good morning nine". we modified the rules a bit, so it would be more exciting. so instead of just laughing at the person who made the mistake, she would also have lipstick on her face, EVERY TIME she makes that mistake. siyempre, sa kagaguhan namin, puro kalokohan yung mga nilagay sa mukha. of course, all the more fun to play it!

BEFORE


AFTER


so guess who lost? edi sino pa! si melai!

all these coupled with our chikka-chikkas about our ever flourishing love lives (not! except for cherry!) made our sleepover complete. :D

for more pics, CLICK HERE!!

1 comments