My Profile

Name: Kars
B-day: October 20, 1984
Zodiac: Libra
Age: 20
School: De La Salle University

female. libra. roman catholic. music lover. broadway junkie. eccentric artist wannabe. avid movie-goer. internet freak. periodic drinker. non-smoker. chronic drunkard. class cutter. weekend bum. shoe collector. alias fanatic. trying-hard singer. frustrated ballerina. pseudo piano player. infrequent commuter. nonstop texter. former friendster devotee. current blog enthusiast.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Jesus fills the void in each one of us.

i had an epiphany of some sort today.

while i was at mass, i realized that i haven't given much importance to the Lord. for the past how many years, i've been preoccupied with my acads, with extra-curricular activities, with friends, with my boyfriend (now my ex), that i never took the effort to strengthen my faith, even though i knew for a fact that it was deteriorating, weakening by the day. i always told myself and other people that my growing faith is a gradual process. i needed time to find myself and the Lord. but yun nga, did i actually do anything about it? none at all. it was always against my will to pray, to go to mass, and to confess (because i didn't believe in it). i didn't feel that i was loved by God, heck i even had doubts He even existed.

but...after hearing the priest's homily, it just struck me. i almost cried in the middle of the mass, good thing i controlled myself.

how can i have neglected Him for how many years? i shouldn't only turn to him if i have problems, or if i want something in my life. i should be grateful. i am indebted to Him, for all the continuous blessings i have received despite the crumbling faith i have given to Him in return.

maybe another factor to this was my conversation with melai earlier. she showed me how God's love can be so...encompassing, that with His love, everything around you would be okay. every battle can be conquered.

it was the first time in my whole life that i felt good going to mass. every song i sung was heartfelt. every word that came out of my mouth unfeigned. :D