My Profile
Name: Karsno more i love you's
I used to be a lunatic from the gracious days
blast to high school
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
i'm so happy that marianne is back in the philippines, well for 2 weeks at the least. it seemed like forever since i last saw her, and it's so surreal that she's actually here. when she texted me that she was in filinvest already (from the province) and asked me what day i was free so we could go out, i got so excited i wanted to shriek with enthusiasm. but eventhough i was overwhelmingly overjoyed (over over na yan ah!), a part of me also feared that when i'd look into her eyes, i won't see the same marianne that i knew before. we are strangers now. i was afraid that she was already conquered by those foolish american ways. you know how it is when people grow up in the states. they become so different. i've lived there, and i've seen how people shift their personalities and perspectives if you are not carefully watched by your parents. speaking in english with a twang and dressing up like britney spears (sorry she was the first thing that entered my mind) is one thing, but being detached to the filipino culture is another. teenagers there are so liberal and independent, not like us here who stick to our traditional centennial ways. i don't mean to sound condescending or anything, but it really is the truth. 'ts just two different worlds.
i immediately called up rissa to ask about our plans, and i told her to call marianne up. it turns out that we had the same concern. after much persistence, she finally called her up. she was talking to her while i was on the other line. and when she got off, she told me to overcome my own fear. and i'm glad i did. when i heard her say "hello", my heart went *kaboog*. but after that, things began to come out naturally. we were just laughing and laughing the whole time! i don't really remember the details of our conversation, except the filipino telenovelas(how judy ann is so panget when she acts, and that half-faced guy in HIRAM is just so hideous), and the time she referred to my driver as "tingting"(for those who don't know the name of my driver, keep it that way!). my conclusion based from that first-hand experience? she's the same marianne florendo. :)
we planned to go out on friday. just have dinner, and maybe experience the greenbelt night-life. marianne and i were initially meeting at around 5. however, i was just riding with the car which was going home after, so i arrived in makati at 3. i decided to just hang out in powerbooks. i was gonna stay there longer than i thought. after ten thousand years, marianne text me and told me she was gonna "try" to get there by 6. i didn't mind at all, except that the aircon of powerbooks was really ice cold, my nails were turning blue. i was reading a book, and i actually finished it. after that i was browsing through guiness book of world records 2004. oh, this freaky guy approached me and said, "uh hello, i'm really of no harm, but i just wanted to get your name." and i was like, "uh i'm not interested". do guys go to powerbooks to hit on girls? hehe. when i was hanging out there, there were so many people from different walks of life, just looking at books. and it made me think: were these people just there like me for a lack of nothing else to do? were they pretending to browse through the books and pretend to be interested in them? there was this guy even reading an atlas. i mean hello! weird...
anyway, my story is to be continued soon. i have to be a role model student again. :)
*yawn*
Monday, August 23, 2004
damn this student life...
fruit of our labor
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
during economics, we had our oral group report. i think it's the first time that that i wasn't able to contribute a single thing to our report. i feel so useless! i feel really guilty because i was too preoccupied with the marketing paper. damn...
after econ, i found out from k-ann that the market paper was already checked, and we could get it in the department. waah! my heart was beating so fast. when i went there to pick it up, our classmates were also there. found out from mona that they got an 88. i saw papers with scores like 80, 82, and 84. and when i saw ours, we got a 90!!!!!!! it just felt so good. i guess no one who hasn't had zamora as their teacher can understand the feeling. you're a god when you get a grade of 90 with her .
this has been a good day. plus! jaja passed the medical boards. that bastard (hehe) is getting a new celfone, and she's going to the states. biyatch!
this is the fruit of all our labor! yiha!
ara's in baguio...i miss her already! chatting with her almost every night fills the loneliness inside of me. :)
frustration
Saturday, August 14, 2004
"sorry for doing school work." what kind of a fucked up statement is that? all i expected was a single reply, maybe just to tell me that he didn't want to be bothered because he's "doing schoolwork". does that take up too much of his time?
i'm really sensitive right now because i really want this to work out. i don't want to feel that i'm having second thoughts about my decision. i don't want to feel that i made a mistake. i just want to be happy. is that too much to ask?
and like what i told him, i didn't get back together with him so that i could let history repeat itself.
sorry for the profanity.
just frustrated, and once again, confused.
new start, old ways
yesterday was the mark of a new beginning for our relationship. when i texted him "good morning" yesterday, he called me up in my cell (that's something that NEVER happens). that in itself made my day. :)
i decided to go with jc and jeremy to the wake of ace's dad (again, my condolences to his family). jc, pao, and i stayed at jc's house to wait til 7 (color coding is over!). i was so happy to see his brothers again: jon's antagonism, joseph's innocence, joey's catatonic state, and jr's brilliance. i missed them so much!
but when the evening grew, it seemed that everything between jc and i were...the same. i sincerely expected that it would be sweeter the second time around. i'm sure it will be, but last night gave me a wrong impression. after checking my mail, and surfing the net, jc, as always, forced me to get out of the computer because it was his turn (as if he doesn't spend most of his time infront of the computer). so i just sat on one of the chairs, and stared into outer space, while he played this whatever game. i'm not really into those kinds of games, that's why there was really nothing much to do during that time but...stare at anything. so while i was boring myself to death, jr entertained me by telling me stories of his high school life, and asking questions on how to go about certain things.
luckily, a game of pusoy dos saved the night.
so will love be sweeter the second time around? i sure hope so. :)
goodbye
Thursday, August 12, 2004
'sure pass'
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
i, on the other hand, was a bit disappointed because i needed to get a 103% in the final exams to get a 4.0. that means i can only get a maximum of 3.5. i don't know if you can call me grade conscious, i guess i just feel that that wasn't my best.
so why do most people settle for less, if they can strive to be better? this reminds me of nick joaquin's (may he rest in peace) "the heritage of smallness", where he talks about the nature of us filipinos to flagellate ourselves by not raising up to any challenges, and just being contented with what we have. although we are capable of doing more, we will always stick to what we have, because we are too afraid to go up to the next level. how will there be room for progress if we have this kind of mentality?
when will that time come when in calculating their grades, they will compute in the hopes of excelling and not "just passing"?
.::.
my mom arrived from her luxurious vacation in hong kong the other night. of course, there was pasalubong. lots of 'em, actually. i have 6 new pairs of shoes, a pair of pants, 2 bags, and a gazillion shirts! these aren't totally mine, because i share with my sisters. but nevertheless, it's something to celebrate!
.::.
at 2:30 this morning, i received a text from jc. "i love you..."
ain't that sweet or what?
i miss him...waaah =,(
.::.
i started my piano lessons a while ago. it was fun! it turns out that my teacher is my sister's classmate in piano a long time ago. i really enjoyed my first day! i wanted to extend the lesson to 3 hours. she asked me what i really wanted to learn, (i mean because i know how to play already) and we agreed on learning both classical and contemporary, so that at least i can get the best of both worlds. can't wait for next tuesday!
.::.
can i just say, i love my new hair! no more "mahangin ba sa labas" comments.
it still stinks though.
and it's still pitch black because of the cellophane.
rebonding session
Saturday, August 07, 2004
meters away from eastwood, i got a call from ara and by surprise, she told me that mau can't make it to dinner. i was like "HUWAAATTT!?!" i was just texting her minutes ago, and she seemed pretty normal. what could go wrong? apparently, she was hanging out with her other UP friends at a bar called tapika, and she had a little too much to drink. but anyway, rissa and ara were still there, so that was still something to look forward to!
a tonkatsu meal, three california makis, and a dysfunctional air conditioner later, we were outside tokyo-tokyo having a yet another "bonding" session. rissa was talking about her loooove life, while ara and i just "awwww"ed in envy. minutes later, jb arrived and sat with us. our discussion then turned to our grade school days. 6B! our classmates, seating arrangements, yada yada yada. and while jb and ara discussed about ateneo stuff, rissa and i were...listening i guess? i don't really remember. suddenly, mau called on ara's fone, and she was crying and telling us repeatedly that she was sorry and that she feels guilty. we assured her that she didn't have to worry at all. i can't imagine her throwing up on herself. hell i can't even imagine her drunk period. too bad i didn't get to experience my valedictorian friend on her first booze-filled and "unsober" night, which also happens to be her birthday.
at around 11:30, we had to get going because jb, better known as cinderello, had to be home by 12. it was cute that a guy had a curfew. i've always thought that curfews were a girl thang. hey i wasn't complaining! although i was having a good time with my friends, i was really groggy because i didn't get enough sleep the previous night. after not getting lost on our way to the condo (i'm so good with directions. haha!), we stopped by starbucks to grab a couple of frappuccinos.
you'd think this is the end of my night, well you got it all wrong. it had just begun.
i was expecting my freelance hairstylists to arrive in the condo at around 4 to 5 AM for my rebonding. yes, AM. in the morning. after checking my mail and chatting with ara for a while, i lay myself to sleep. of what seemed like only a minute, my fone began to ring. and it was yollie (the hairstylist). she said they were on their way. i looked at the time and it was only 1:50! don't i get enough rest at all? we started at 2 AM, and finished at 7. that's five grueling hours of a zombie-like session with the television. thank God for discovery channel. :)
i slept at around 7:30, and woke up at 10 something.
don't i get enough rest at all? - guess not!
this has been the longest day of my life.
suka, subo?
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
so when it comes to love, are you really supposed to use your heart, or your head? is there such thing as using both your heart and your head?
"sinuka mo na nga, baket mo pa isusubo uli?"
gusto ko eh, pake mo?
home sweet home
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
drilling noises
smell of wet paint
circulating dust
a bunch of carpenters
mom's nagging (hehe!)
my mom is fixing her room right now, cuz it's the next to be taken over. wahaha! now she knows how we feel.
btw, our room is done. can i just say, it's so nice! it's like a room fixed by knock first!! just how we pictured it to be.
i was chatting with ara last night. and she revealed to me something that i didn't expect from her in a million years! well, i can't really give out the details, but WHOA! i just can't get over it.
i drove my dad's car a while ago (chevrolet venture). just several feet, but it was really scary cuz i'm not used to wide and bulky cars. i kept on glancing at the side mirrors if i was gonna hit anything. haha!
ram and i had a very interesting discussion a while ago about the "unanswered" questions on the creation of the world, and of "homo sapiens". the bible just speaks of symbological representation. so how then were humans spawned from the earth? better yet, how was this world together with the other planets created? there was a series of questions that we were throwing at each other, but it only left us with saying, "hmmm...".
c'mon ateneans, theologize with me!
boredom strikes
Monday, August 02, 2004
i need a good massage. calling all masseuse!
i'm bored. i wanna do something. i wanna talk to anyone. HELP!!!
two old friends meet again
Sunday, August 01, 2004
we initially wanted to watch catwoman at 10:30. but when we arrived, all seats were taken. same went with i-robot. although i think it was against his will, we were left with ella enchanted. it was a girl thang. anyway, hope he enjoyed. :)
i had a really good time last night. it was the perfect opportunity for us to catch up on things. we talked about the drama in our lives, and anecdotes that just made us laugh. it's one of the those things that i'd like to happen more often. :)
through all these years, jb never fails to greet me on my birthday, on christmas, and new year's. although our friendship is primarily based on text, he's one of those friends that i know is there for me no matter what. he periodically checks up on me, comforts me when i'm down, and gives me words of enlightenment when i'm disoriented. i guess he doesn't know how much i appreciate him as my friend. he's one of the people i'm thankful to be my good friend.
question is, have i been the same good friend to him?
i don't think so.